You’re not going to believe this, Ted. You know what this evil bastard did? Yes, that’s right. He used borrowed money to take over failing companies. And that’s not all. He fired some of the folks who worked at those companies. Wait, it gets even worse. He restored those companies to profitability. I know, I know. And—to cap it all—he made hundreds of millions of dollars doing it.

The right answer is to promote the kind of diversity and competition that already make
the American university system the world’s best. And one highly effective way of doing
this is by setting up more charter schools—publicly funded but independently run and
union-free. The performance of the Success Charter Network speaks for itself. In New
York City’s public schools, 60 percent of third, fourth, and fifth graders passed their math
exams last year. The figure at Harlem Success was 94 percent. The American Dream is about social mobility, not enforced equality. It’s about
competition, not public monopoly. It’s also about philanthropy, not confiscatory taxation.
I’ll cheer up even more when I hear those words at a Republican presidential debate. Or
maybe next week we should just tell the candidates to shut up and play poker